It’s happened to each and everyone of us. You get in line and you know right away – I’m going to be here awhile. These situations aren’t always avoidable, but you should know what you’re getting yourself into from the start.
So we made this list for you, about the 6 worst people to wait behind. We’ll tell you why they’re so horrible, and reveal a couple of warning signs, so you can bail if you have the chance.
1. Coupon Lady
Description: It’s your grandma. Really. Okay, not every elderly lady has a purse bursting with coupons, but I’d say it’s 9 out of every 10. I worked at a supermarket as a kid, so I’ve done unofficial market research.
Warning Signs: She’s old, female, and carrying a handbag that could double as a suitcase. She smiles at you when you get in line, and tells you that you look “just like her grandson.”
2. Gropey Couple
Description: This couple can be any age, but they tend to be younger – anywhere from 16-24. They’re obviously newly together – why else would they be making out and touching each other in line? The aggravation they arouse has nothing to do with extending your wait, but simply making it uncomfortable. No one wants to watch that.
Warning Signs: They’ve groped or kissed each other within the first 30 seconds of your wait.
3. Loud Cell Phone Dude
Description: “Loud Cell Phone Dude” should be enough. He’s loud generally, but he’s especially loud when he’s on his cell phone surrounded by waiting people, all of whom are listening to his conversation.
Warning Signs: Well, he’s loud. And he’s on a cell phone. These signs will definitely be apparent from the moment you get behind him.
4. The Space Invader
Description: The space invader can be any age or gender. This person has complete disregard for the unwritten rule of personal space, which states that a waiting customer is given between 3-5 feet in front and behind them. The space invader has plenty of open floor to play with, yet they choose to join your 3-foot circle. You will hate them.
Warning Signs: If you’re lucky, you’ll start to smell someone else’s shampoo, cologne (or perfume), deodorant, or tooth paste shortly after they arrive in line. If you’re unlucky, you’ll smell body order. You might feel someone breathing on your neck.
5. Mom with Kid(s)
Description: She’s a female, and she has a child (or children); I’d say age 6 or under. If she has a baby, you’re going to have her juggling the kid, her cash, and possibly some coupons. That’s going to take forever. Not to mention, there could be crying. That sucks. If she has a toddler, she’s going to be turning from the cashier every 5 seconds to be sure her kid isn’t stealing candy bars.
No matter the age, when the kid starts crying, she’ll turn to the cashier and say, “I’m so sorry. Do you have kids?” If you hear those words, put your hands together, and pray that the cashier says no. If (s)he does have kids, the two of them will start trading stories and pictures. You’ll be there awhile.
Warning Signs: A woman with a kid (possibly multiple children) – age(s) 6 and under.
6. Off-the-Clock Employee
Description: This person is an employee of the business you’re waiting inside, but they are off the clock. They’re simply visiting, or shopping, or just there to make your life miserable. When they get to the cashier, they start talking about their next shift, or how much they hate their manager. This person is definitely worse than coupon lady and mom, as you can’t really hate an old person or children. Off-the-clock employee falls in line with the gropey couple, the space invader, and loud cell phone dude.
Warning Signs: This person is waiving emphatically at the cashier from the line. They’re mouthing stuff to each other, and everyone else around you is starting to look irritated.
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These 6 people are the worst. Watch out for them.